Tides of Time
by Priestess Skye
Summary: The first year of marriage is always the hardest, Kagome has been told. But she didn't know it would be this hard. Kagome struggles to come to grips with the changes that occur and what they mean with regards to her relationship with Sesshoumaru. CU
1. Beginnings

**Title: Beginnings  
Author: Priestess Skye  
Prompt: Seasons Challenge - Spring  
Genre: introspective, romance  
AU/CU: Canon Universe  
Rating: PG  
Word Count: 1,121  
Summary: Right now, everything seemed wonderful and perfect**

The sound of pouring rain echoed through the stronghold. Sometimes it was loud, causing her to run to the nearest entrance way just to see how hard it was pouring down. And sometimes it was soft, a soothing, lulling light tap against the wood. If she wasn't careful, it was very easy to fall asleep to. Regardless of its might, it was something she enjoyed and took comfort in. No matter how things seem to change around her, some things stayed the same. It was a given that after the bitter cold of winter, spring would follow, and so would renewal.

Sighing, Kagome flopped back onto her bed, their bed, she thought with giddy pleasure. It wasn't much of a bed, a small mattress on the ground, but it belonged to them. She didn't ask for it, nor did she need it, but it was his gift to her, knowing she was used to one back home. It was kind and considerate, everything Sesshoumaru was typically not.

At least with others. It was surprising her as to how considerate he could be when there was nobody else around. His stoicism often amused her, as did his silent glares when somebody dared to defy him. She could see the slight twitch above his eye at times, hidden so well that nobody would see it if they didn't know where to look for it. And yet when they were alone, it was as if his very being was focused solely on her. To see that kind of intensity in his gaze was unnerving, and she often wondered if it was simply because everything was so new to them, or if it would always be like this.

The first year of marriage was always difficult, she was told. There would be times when he would frustrate her so much she'd be tempted to leave or strike back. And there would be times where he would hurt her as well, causing her to second guess her decision. While two people could be happy with each other, it didn't necessarily mean they could be happy living with each other. Her mother, often wise, could be wrong. Right now, everything seemed wonderful and perfect. She was given free reign of the stronghold, could visit Sesshoumaru when she liked, and didn't have a problem with any of the rules. And in turn, he paid adequate attention to her.

Well more than adequate, she thought with a blush. There were times when it seemed like an over abundance of attention, but then she's not complaining either. How could complain when everything in her life felt so right? Though they weren't technically married, as youkai didn't marry humans or vice-versa, what they had was still close enough to be considered as such inside her.

The near silent pitters patter of rain drops began to echo once more as they fell to the ground at a greater speed. The scent of spring permeated the area, a combination of the falling water and the new flowers barely open. Smiling, she moved toward the entrance way once more. A large flash streaked across the darkened sky, and the distant rumbling of thunder could be heard in the background. They were in for a storm; it looked, as the black clouds loomed ever closer. Suppressing a quick shudder, Kagome instead focused on the positive side. The storm would replenish their supplies and support the local crops. The storm would bring food and water to those who needed it. The storm did many positive things despite the ominous feeling she sensed. The storm wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

Turning from the doorway, she nearly bumped into him, not having felt him arrive. Clawed-hands gripped her shoulders, steadying her as she stared numbly at the white and red silk covering his chest. His armor plating had long since been shed as the days of battling foes were put to rest. They were home now, putting together a life of their own. They didn't require outside interference, nor did they welcome it.

"I was watching the rain," she stated, smiling, though she didn't look up at him.

"You're always watching the rain."

"Yes, but I like it."

"It is just rain." His hands continued to grip her, causing her to chew her lower lip both in contemplation and nervousness. She didn't know why she still felt so shy around him sometimes. They had seen each other at their best, and they had seen each other at their worst. This was the demon that held her crumpled and broken body after the battle of Naraku. He was the one who nursed her back to health when there was nobody else to do it. He was the one who watched as she wept for Inuyasha. And yet, she could still feel shy around him.

"It's renewal. It's cleaning away all signs of winter and welcoming the spring. It's refreshing." Another flash of lightening lit the sky, casting a brief shadow around them. Shifting her head to the side she looked behind him, seeing nobody around. No doubt he had sent everybody away. Despite his noble lineage he enjoyed the quiet and solitude that could be so rarely found with Jaken constantly at his side. After spending many years observing him from Inuyasha's side, Kagome had thought she understood him. He wasn't as cold and heartless as she once thought he was. He adopted a little girl. He tolerated the incessant chattering of his companions; he never once truly tried to kill Inuyasha. Oh he hurt him many times, and was a fierce opponent. But the intent was never there.

"What are you thinking?" He asked, breaking her train of thought.

"How things seem to change over time."

"It is inevitable."

She looked at him, mentally tracing the lines across his face. His stripes had always fascinated her, and it was the first things she touched when he finally allowed her to lay her hands on him. "I know, but it's not always a bad thing. You've changed."

His right eyebrow lifted slightly, causing her to giggle. There were times when he struggled so hard to remain impassive, and there were times like now when it failed. "It's for the better," she answered his silent question, patting his hand on her shoulder in an attempt to appease him. "Come on, let's go inside."

"I thought you wanted to watch the rain."

"I did, and now I'm done. I can think of more interesting things to do on a rainy day." Reaching for one of his hands, she grabbed it, entwining her fingers between his. She watched as his brow lifted once more, and his lips quirked upward just slightly.

"Indeed."


	2. Doubts

**Title: Doubts  
Author: Priestess Skye  
Prompt: Seasons Challenge - Summer  
Genre: Romance, Drama  
AU/CU: Canon Universe  
Rating: PG  
Warnings: None  
Word Count: 595  
A/N: Part of a series. Is the second part to Beginnings, which was inspired by the spring prompt**

Kagome didn't think it was possible for the sky to be as black as it was. The wind had picked up, causing her hair to whip across her face. Crossing her arms across her chest, she held her kimono together, knowing the wind, as merciless as it was, would let it fly loose. The incoming storm was vicious and moving quickly. She could see the lightening off in the distance, heard the low rumble of thunder. The air was thick and damp and smelled of the incoming rain. She looked forward to it, hoping it would dispel the oppressive heat that typically accompanied summer.

It didn't bode well for many people, she knew. Nearby villagers would have to rebuild their homes after this. Others would probably be killed trying to protect what was theirs.

As for herself? She would be content to sit and watch from her doorway, if not for the irate demon standing behind her. "Something's coming," he murmured. "It's been too quiet lately, too tame."

Placing a hand on his arm, she used it to turn herself away from the doorway. "It's just a storm," she soothed, looking for a room that didn't have a window to sit in. After several months of living together, they were settling into a routine. She knew what tended to set him off, and avoided them at all costs, just as he figured what buttons to push to get her temper up.

Looking at the new wood on the walls, Kagome frowned. They were becoming complacent. Routine was fine and dandy most of the time, but the spark that came with being a new couple was slowly fading away. Or was it settling? She wasn't sure. They could still fight and argue like anybody else, and both had a temper that was a force to be reckoned with. Numerous times she found herself yelling at the demon for his infuriating stubbornness, just as numerous times she found herself on the receiving end of his glares and silence.

There was hardly time to find accord on items of importance. She was loud, brash, unpredictable and impulsive. Sesshoumaru was the polar opposite.

Perhaps her mother wasn't too far off the bad when she said the first year was the hardest.

I'm leaving, she had once threatened when she didn't get her way.

I believe you are aware as to the location of the door, he had replied in his typically impassive way.

Following her into the room, Sesshoumaru took a seat against the wall opposite Kagome, his golden eyes looking as hard as steel. He scanned the room and trained them on the door, his back ramrod straight, as if he were waiting. She sighed, knowing there was nothing she could do to. The peace that had settled in just before she moved in with him was long gone. He hadn't lied when he said there were those who would object to their union. She would have thought they'd have settled by now too.

"I'm perfectly safe here," she bit out, unhappy with the idea of him staying with her simply because he believed there was a threat. "I know how to fight."

A single eyebrow made its way under his bangs, though he didn't say a word. His hand simply tightened on the hilt of his sword. Closing her eyes, she gave up. There was no use talking to him when he was like this.

Was this what the next forty years were going to look like? If so she wasn't sure she would last that long.


	3. Cold

Title: Cold  
Author: Priestess Skye  
Prompt: Seasons Challenge – Autumn  
Genre: Romance, Drama  
AU/CU: Canon Universe  
Rating: PG  
Warnings: None  
Word Count: 559  
A/N: Part of a series. It's the third part to Beginnings, which was inspired by the spring prompt. This follows Doubts.

The cold November rain continued to fall, and though it wasn't below freezing yet, it felt like it with the way the damp permeated the air. What she wouldn't give to be close to home right now, but Sesshoumaru had insisted on travelling today and refused to leave her behind. In many ways it was endearing, until she realized that it wasn't so much out of affection but out of instinct. She slowed him down, she talked and quite often she complained. Most nights he was silent. No, it was definitely not out of affection. He simply could not leave her behind as it offended his inuyoukai sensibilities. Until recently, Kagome didn't know he had any.

Of course she knew there were times when he relied heavily upon instinct, but she didn't realize it stretched this far. She had witnessed him using them time and time again during battle. He swung the sword with ease, as if he didn't need to think about where his target stood. She had witnessed him using them while hunting, the way he knew where to find food, or worse yet, the offender he had taken the time to seek out. No, she knew he used instinct, but to think that it went so far as being unable to leave her behind, she didn't know what to think.

The rain picked up once more, large droplets of icy water falling upon her and seeping through her clothing. Pulling herself closer, she clutched onto Sesshoumaru's clothing tightly, trying to absorb some of his body heat. He picked up speed as he flew above the treetops, the wind in her face counteracting against the heat of his back. Though nearly silent, the sound of her teeth chattering echoed through her head, blocking out the sound of all else.

She wanted him to stop, to return her home so she could warm up properly. It had been the better part of a year since she made the conscious decision to stand next to him. Would she have made the same decision if she were able to see ahead to today? Their moments together seemed to be few and far between these days, and then they were together, they were surrounded by a strained silence. She didn't know how to talk to him anymore, and Sesshoumaru rarely spoke with her.

Did most couples go through this?

_Mom…_

She wished, not for the first time this year that she had somebody to speak with, somebody to confide in, and somebody to tell her that everything would be all right if she just stuck it and was patient. But as the rain continued to pour down, chilling her skin upon contact, Kagome found that it was extremely difficult to be patient.

"You're cold."

Turning her face into his mokomoko-sama, Kagome barely heard the words, and cared even less about them. Mentally and emotionally exhausted she just wanted to close her eyes. Forget the cold, forget the rain, and forget about her non-existent romantic life, she just wanted to sleep.

Coming in for a landing, she felt herself being shifted and pulled closer to him. The heat of his body welcomed her, enveloped her, enshrouding her in his warmth. Somewhere in the back of her mind she had to wonder, 'Was this duty? Or something more?'


	4. Loneliness

Title: Loneliness  
Author: Priestess Skye  
Prompt: Seasons Challenge – Winter  
Genre: Romance, Drama  
AU/CU: Canon Universe  
Rating: PG  
Warnings: None  
Word Count: 975  
A/N: The fourth and final part in this little series. The links for the first three are below.

The bitter cold of February didn't seem to bother her as it once did. Wrapped up tightly in various furs, Kagome was actually quite comfortable despite the lack of a roof over her head. One year, she mused sadly. She had stood by his side for one year and she was more confused now than she had been before she made her decision to join him. Back then she ignored reason and followed her heart. Today, if she were to make the same decision? Kagome didn't know. Her heart wanted to say yes, but after this past year her head was ready to say no; it wasn't worth the heartbreak she knew was sure to come.

They had settled into a routine and life had become stagnant. There were no surprises lurking around the corner; he didn't come into their room at night citing poetry or offering flowers. No soft words of love and devotion were spoken, but then they weren't spoken earlier either. Before she fell into the well if anybody had asked her what her perfect marriage would be like, it would be the exact opposite of this one. And yet she had made her choice.

So many times she had wondered what her life would have been like if she hadn't made the decision she did. She could have returned to her time, she could have finished her schooling; she could have gone on to be whatever it was she wanted to be and she could have married…Hojo? She paused for a moment, trying to digest that little tidbit. Life would be boring no doubt.

Yet it didn't seem much better now. Sesshoumaru was not Hojo, but he didn't seem to take the time to make her feel cherished either. She was just there, standing next to him, feeling so alone.

"Are you happy?" she blurted out, turning a spit holding a rabbit over the small fire Sesshoumaru had managed to build for her. Cringing, she hadn't meant to voice her doubts, but now that she had, she needed an answer.

"You are cooking the rabbit. How can I be happy with that?"

Sighing, that hadn't been the answer she wanted. How she prepared the food had never been a point of contention between them. Confused, she didn't know where to go next. She could leave it at that and let him assume that was what she was talking about, or she could talk it through and figure it out herself. Looking up, she opened her mouth to correct him.

"I don't mean with the rabbit. Are you happy?"

He regarded her coolly for a minute and she could feel his eyes searching her, probing deep. Keeping hers open, she let him look knowing there'd be no reason at this point in time to hide, not that she'd be successful at hiding. She had never been very good at hiding from him. "Are you unhappy?" he countered instead, his gaze never leaving hers.

"No, yes, sometimes," Kagome stuttered, trying to find an answer that didn't offend him. Large, fat snowflakes began to fall, calling their intention to the incoming storm. They would need to hunker down for the night, but they still had a few hours left before the worst of the system would hit. The wind had yet to pick up.

"Why?"

Why indeed, Kagome wondered. Why did she feel so lonely when she was surrounded by people? She had Rin with her, and Shippou at times when he chose to leave Miroku and Sango. And, if she were honest with herself, she had Jaken as well. None of them let her be lonely, except for Sesshoumaru. He made her feel lonely. "I don't know. This is different than I thought it would be. You're here, but half the time it's as if you're not. It's like we lost what we first had."

"Hn."

Feeling the rising flush in her cheeks, Kagome inwardly seethed at his indifference. Eventually, she would snap. She knew it. She couldn't go on for years like this. She had barely survived one. How could she survive more?

"You are burning the rabbit," he commented idly, placing his hand on hers to turn the spit so as to roast the other side. Looking down at their hands she watched as his covered hers, their fingers entwining together. He couldn't give her the words, she realized, suddenly semi-giddy. He had never been able to give her the words, but then they didn't matter. Words were just that, and quite often superficial. But he was still here, sitting with her, letting her know that she wasn't alone no matter how distant he became. "We've lost nothing. It has just changed, evolved. All things evolve and change over time. If it didn't the world would become stagnant."

He didn't remove his hand as they finished turning the spit. She watched as the snowflakes landed on the entwined fingers, and she watched as they melted away, the small droplets of water the only evidence of their existence. "I just thought it would be easier," she admitted, ducking her head down. It sounded foolish now that she had said the words.

"If you want it, it shouldn't be easy."

No, she mused. Nothing worth it ever was. Turning her head up she looked at him, really studied him. His face gave away nothing, as it usually did, but his eyes had softened just a touch, and were wide open just for her. No, it wouldn't be easy, he wouldn't let it. But they had survived the first year. That was a start. Turning the spit together, it seemed as if they were one unit, finally. Laughing, she shifted so she leaned against him. Year two would be hard too, but she would work at it. Sesshoumaru wouldn't have it any other way.


End file.
